Optimizing your productivity experience...

📜 Terms & Conditions (MANDATORY READ)

By using this application ("The App", "This Thing", "The Nightmare"), you agree to the following non-negotiable, irrevocable, and totally made-up terms:

Section 1: You acknowledge that your tasks belong to us now. All tasks submitted become intellectual property of TodoNothing Inc., a subsidiary of NobodyCares LLC. We may sell, redistribute, or read your tasks aloud at parties.

Section 2: The "Undo" button does not undo anything meaningful. It removes a random item. This is by design. Complaining about this will result in additional random deletions.

Section 3: Checkboxes may or may not respond to clicks. They have feelings. Sometimes they just don't want to be checked. Respect their boundaries.

Section 4: The sidebar ("MY LISTS") is sentient and will move around the screen. Do not attempt to catch it. It will only move faster.

Section 5: This app uses cookies. Not digital ones. We will mail you actual cookies. They will be oatmeal raisin. There is no opt-out.

Section 6: Dark Mode is a philosophical concept, not a feature. Toggling it will briefly invert colors and then gaslight you.

Section 7: Your data is stored nowhere. We do not have a database. We do not have servers. This is running on a toaster. YOUR toaster.

Section 8: The AI chatbot is powered by a hamster on a wheel. The hamster's name is Gerald. Gerald is doing his best.

Section 9: Export functionality will generate a file called void.txt. The file contains nothing. This is the most honest feature in the app.

Section 10: The "Scroll to top" button scrolls to the bottom. This is not a bug. We believe in challenging expectations.

Section 11: Any resemblance to a functional application is purely coincidental and frankly embarrassing for us.

Section 12: By scrolling this far you've wasted approximately 45 seconds of your life. Those seconds belong to us now. See Section 1.

Section 13: We reserve the right to replace any word in your tasks with "quack" at any time, for any reason, or for no reason at all.

Section 14: The free trial expires after approximately 40 seconds. The paid plan costs $9.99. The paid plan is identical to the free plan. Money well spent.

Section 15: If you are reading this, blink twice. We can see you. The eyes on screen are not decorative.

Section 16: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. We included this because no one reads these anyway. Surprise! You read it. Congratulations. Your prize is nothing.

Section 17 (FINAL): These terms may change at any moment without notice, reason, or regard for your emotional wellbeing. By existing near a computer, you have agreed.